Dr. Seuss taught us that no matter what or who you are, whether a green headed fudmunkler or a hairy hinkle horn honker you can learn something in the most unsuspecting places if you just keep your eyes open wide and your mind even wider.

I like most have come to rely on email to conduct business. Also like most I have come to accept that more than half of the emails that land in my inbox are spam. Spam email has become an epidemic of sorts. With over 60 billion emails sent by Internet users daily it’s become impossible to sort the worthwhile from the worthless

Similar to the pile of junk postal mail I receive daily (minus the tree killing), it has gotten to the point where the effectiveness of Spam email cannot possibly be more than a fraction of a percent. I mean really, how many online degrees does one guy need? Taking a cue from Dr. Seuss and realizing even the seemingly ridiculous can lead to valuable insight; I took a closer look at Spam email to see what I could learn from it.

The first lesson you learn is that Spam is terribly annoying, interruptive, disruptive and just an all around bad idea when it comes to email marketing. So the first lesson falls under the heading of what not to do. Don’t spam.

Lesson two is a little more intriguing. I began to realize that there were messages contained within the thousands of spam emails that were not only getting through my spam filters but through my minds filter as well. It seems that at will I could remember the top five subjects of the spam email I’m bombarded with daily.

I know where to get the cheapest prescription drugs, the real deal Viagra, how to get women to fall in love with me, get that online degree I’ve always wanted and of course, how to have the best sex of my life (hmmm, maybe this stuffs a little better targeted than I thought?). Why did I remember the subjects of my spam emails yet I cannot remember the messages in the emails I’ve opted in to receive?

So lesson 2 is this – Get to the point with good calls to action.  Spam emails are 100% calls to action. They get to the point, they put the call to action front and center. The spammers know that as soon as you read the first line of text you’re going to delete the message so they literally have a second to catch your attention. By putting the call to action right at the top and getting to the point without fluff they are actually making a connection.

If you follow this same rule of thumb in your email marketing you would make a better connection.  Research shows us that over 75% of email readers do not actually open their email; they read it in the preview pane. Preview panes are very narrow and do not show much information, typically requiring the reader to scroll down. Not in spam email, the message is right there at the top, no need to scroll.

So then why in most legitimate email marketing do we drone on, create fluff and filler. Why don’t we just get to the point and put the call to action right at the top? I mean really, we just want a reader to take away a specific message and take action so why not put the calls to action right in plain site. Call to action first and then marketing fluff.  

We all have the desire to say more than the average person has time to hear. Sometimes we write just because we feel we have more to say but the fact is, the faster we can get to the point the better it is for the reader. They get the message, take action and get on with their day and hopefully your respect for their time leads to a long and mutually successful relationship.

So take it from me if you’d like to be a successful email hum doodler. Get to the point and stop droning on like a purple waz banging wiz noodler.

Yet another example of how critical it is to really know your customer.

The Volkswagen Beetle hit the US in 1949 however it was not until the sixties that the bug-like rear engine car would make a social impact amongst soon to be avid VW followers.

Since the sixties the Volkswagen brand has become very “cult-like” with a following of loyal consumers that refuse to drive anything else. To the VW customer the brand stands for affordable non-conformity, hip and some may even say… cool.

VW commercials historically played to the type of customer that would take to the VW brand, the cool hip budget conscious non-conformist. They have had some amazing advertisements that really spoke to the target VW audience. Even the 1998 re-launch of the “New Beetle” created, well, Beetle Mania.

Volkswagen had done it again. Connecting with a new generation of loyal followers with the New Beetle. The target for this vehicle was clear. The children of the flower power generation. The New Beetle even came with a flower vase attached to the dashboard.  VW had always counted on their loyal 1960’s followers to pass down their love of VW from generation to generation. Over the years they’ve introduced many vehicles that hit the mark with their clients. The Rabbit, Golf, Cabriolet and wildly successful Jetta. Volkswagen truly knew who their client was, at least I thought they did.

In 2004 VW came out with the $80,000.00 Phaeton. The thought process was that as the “make love not war” types grew up they would now want a luxury vehicle and who better to buy it from than their old friend VW. VW was counting on the loyal VW buyer and the power of the brand to convert from affordable non-conformity to incredibly expensive semi-conformity. Well surprise, surprise, It turns out that when you can afford to drop 80 large on a vehicle, non-conformity be dammed, you’re not driving a VW.

The fact is that no one will pay BMW prices to be treated like a VW customer. You want the total experience and everything that comes with it. Ask any Lexus dealer, their clients would not take kindly to plastic seats and styrofoam coffee cups in a Volkswagen “service lounge” while their friends and collogues ate gourmet wraps, drank espresso, played the front nine at Pebble Beach in a full sized virtual golf simulator then sat on the leather sofa and watched CNN on a 50 inch plasma TV at the local Lexus “service center”.

VW missed the mark big time and it cost them plenty. The Phaeton was a huge failure in the US only selling a few thousand nationwide. Volkswagen stopped thinking like a customer. They took a top down approach when in today’s world you have to build bottom up to understand your customer’s needs. Somewhere along the way VW lost touch with their customers and what a VW customer really wants – to be hip and cool - in an affordable non-conformist kinda way.

Take a cue from VW. Listen to your customers, never stop trying to understand and fill their needs. Volkswagen wanted to sell cars for $80,000 but they learned from their mistakes. The Phaeton is history and now they drive around screaming “3 V-Dubs under $17,000!” – Welcome back.

Recently my Internet marketing company was hired to guide in the development of a website for a technology firm in NYC. The firm wanted to insure that best practices were being used and the site was being developed in a search engine friendly manner.

An ad agency was designing the website (uuuughhhhh) and they were suppose to report to my team as to what they were doing so we would evaluate each step, correct and move forward to the next step.
The first communication from this agency went something like this.

Agency:  “okay, sites done and ready for review”.
Us: What do you mean sites done? We needed to review the process step by step.
Agency: It should be fine. What exactly are you reviewing for?
Us: The first thing we do is review the design from a usability perspective.
Agency: What do you mean?
Us: Well, we review the site to make sure it is user friendly, easy to use etc.
Agency: Oh?!?…. No one told us anyone would be looking at the site for usability.
Us: (Stunned Silence)
Agency: Hello?
Us: Stunned Silence)
Agency: Hello, you there?
Us: Sooooo, you developed a site that is unusable?
Agency: What we created uses high level creative design to express the client’s expertise.
Us: Like interruptive dance?

Then is just went south from there. “We didn’t know anyone would look at the site from a usability perspective”. Are you figging kidding me?!?

This thinking is out there people so in the famous words of the late great Michael Conrad’s Hill Street Blues Character Phil Estherhouse “Lets be careful out there”.

I have to give credit to You Tube, they have really created something amazing! You Tube has created a community of loyal followers that would make Jimmy Swaggart jealous.     

I’ve been having meetings with former NY Giant and owner of the top selling Hyundai dealer in NJ, Brad Benson (being a HUGE Giants fan this is big for me) about his Internet marketing strategy.

Brad’s irreverent and memorable radio and television commercials have sort of a cult following here in New Jersey so when he used Jib Jab to create his latest gem I immediately put it up on You Tube just to see what type of effect it would have.
I understand Internet marketing and the powerful effect that a well constructed viral marketing campaign can have. My company (Single Throw) produced an extremely effective viral campaign with eight time Mr. Olympia Ronnie Coleman. Ronnie’s video gains popularity daily and has not slowed down since we launched it.

Back to Brad. I posted Brad’s video on You Tube at 8:45 on a Friday morning. By 8:50 someone had already commented on it, two people rated it, one put it in their favorites and over 50 people had viewed it! IN FIVE MINUTES!

You Tube – You Rock!

Let’s file this under “how not to convert a website visitor”. I’ve been toying with the idea of buying a new home. As 90% of all people in the market for a new home do, I went online to view homes in my area. I was happy to see all the helpful features real estate websites offer such as virtual tours, tons of detailed area information, maps and even the ability to save properties I like for a later visit. This feature in particular interested me as it allows me to narrow down my choices over time, print a detailed list and show it to a realtor when I’m ready to select one.  When I am ready to choose a realtor my guess is that I would have called one whose website I’ve established the best relationship with. That’s right, I said establish a relationship with a website. When a site makes a connection you inevitably establish a relationship. You see websites are like virtual sales people (in this case virtual realtors). In sales terms, websites are “openers”. They find the leads and build report. Once report is built a “closer” needs to step in and make the deal happen.  A website builds relationship by allowing me to find what I’m looking for easily, giving me great content that fits my needs and all the tools I need to research and make an educated decision as to what my next steps should be. 

Now no matter how good a website is at establishing a relationship it can all go wrong in the blink of an eye. The sales process can go sour if the relationship is abused. I mentioned tools that allowed me to save my searches. In order to use these tools you inevitably have to give some information up. I’m okay with giving my contact information in order to use this helpful tool. 

I expected an email to come at some point letting me know that when I’m ready to choose a realtor they are ready to help me. That email never came instead I got a phone call from “Juanita”. Juanita left a message on my voice mail telling me exactly which properties I’d looked at and that she wants to show them to me right away before they are sold because of course, they are HOT, HOT, HOT! 

Well Juanita, you’ll never get to show me those properties because you abused the relationship, you took it too far and quite simply made me feel like my privacy was invaded. You see the great thing about the web is anonymity. Everyone is a supermodel or a rock star behind the keyboard but once someone takes that from you, you quickly realize that you’re just fat and naked typing with two fingers. 

Don’t abuse the tools you offer your clients in good faith. Don’t take the relationship for granted. Give your potential clients the respect they think they deserve and it will pay off in the long run. Juanita didn’t respect her potential client and lost a big fat commission check. Maybe next time she’ll buy me dinner before trying to get me in the sack? –There’s a process for everything. 

Lately it seems like everyone that I exchange business cards with immediately puts me on their e-mail list. Let’s clarify. None of the following actions constitutes my (or anyone’s) opting in to your email newsletter: Shaking my hand, exchanging business cards, visiting my website, reading this BLOG, listening to my Podcasts or the fact that you’ve opted into mine. 

Email marketing is an extremely effective tool that can yield great rewards if used properly. Email marketing to people that have not opted in is SPAMMING pure and simple. This tells me that your winning email marketing strategy is to grow your list. What a great strategy! Build a giant list of people whose first impression of your company is annoyance, interruption and disrespect. Great job! You’re a genius. Size doesn’t matter, it’s how you use the tool (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it). I’ll take a small list of people that want my message over a giant list of the non-interested any day. Marketing (online or off) is about making a connection with someone who has interest – again – someone that has interest. Great marketers know how to use email marketing to make the right connections. Sending your email newsletter to everyone you’ve exchanged business cards with does not make you a great marketer it just makes you an ass. 

Anyway – that’s my rant.