This post written from Starbucks in East Brunswick, NJ

Yes you too may suffer from RRHS (red riding hood syndrome) and not even know it! Little red riding hood (“red” to her friends) was clearly in denial. She knew damn well that it was a wolf in grandma’s bed but refused to believe it.

Red: “What big eyes you have grandma” – Wolf: “All the better to see you with”.  All the better to see you with! Are you kidding me!

Red saw a figure in her grandmother’s house, her grandmother’s clothes and her grandmother’s bed and just assumed it was granny. If she failed to mentioned the big teeth she wouldn’t be with us today.

How many times have you fell victim to an offer that looked to good to be true and assumed it was? How about all that spam messaging on the Internet, ever gotten sucked in only to wonder later, “what was I thinking?!?”.

If you’ve ever punched a monkey in a banner ad to instantly win an iPod then you too may suffer from RRHS.

Well there’s good news! RRHS is treatable. Many past sufferers even go on to live full and productive lives but the first step is admitting that you may have a problem.

Here are some signs that you may suffer from RRHS.

1. You never wondered how the deposed Nigerian dictator got your email address in the first place.
2. You ignore the fact that Viagra is a prescription medication and should be prescribed by a doctor. Just because the email states that it’s “The Real Deal” does not mean it is. Buying prescription drugs from spam email is like buying produce from your garbage man.
3. You approve the comment on your Blog from the guy who writes “Nice stie – thank you ” even though it’s followed by a hyperlink reading “Cheap Levitra”
4. You actaully think that your loan was approved even though you never applied for one.
5. You can’t wait to open the next e-card from an old classmate.

These scams exist because RRHS exists. RRHS is very real and until we cure everyone, scams like these will continue to run rampant.

Some scams are not as recognizable. There are tons of self proclaimed Internet marketing and search engine gurus out there claiming to have created riches for their clients and guaranteeing they can do the same for you!

Claims of guaranteed Google placement! Page one rankings! Increased PageRank instantly! Raves of how they’ve unlocked the secrets of search that will lead to tons of traffic for your site. These animals prey on hapless RRHS sufferers and it must stop!

Just as Red eventually realized that a wolf has no thumbs and could never have possibly tied up an elderly woman, you need to realize that no one can guarantee anything when it comes to search engine placement. There are no great secrets to unlock, no magic bullets, just lots of over inflated claims.

If you suffer from RRHS it’s imperative that you question everything. Analyze every detail and then question it again before hiring anyone to assist you with Internet marketing.

Thanks to corporate supporters of RRHS like Google, there is information available to help combat those who prey on RRHS sufferers.

It is my hope, no, my dream to see a world free of RRHS but I can’t do it alone. Together we can wipe out RRHS through common sense and just not being stupid. It won’t be easy, some people may need to be beaten but it can be done. Won’t you help?

On a side note, many of you will be happy to know that Red went on to live happily ever after. Oh sure she had to go through years of therapy after the woodsman defiled her muffins and ran off with grandma but eventually she pulled herself together, went back to school and became a partner in the law firm of Wolff, Wolff and Muffit – Good for her… Good for her.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 15th, 2007 at 8:38 pm and is filed under Search Engines. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.